Dec. 29

I lit a candle this morning and am going to let it burn all day.

Today is one of the hardest reminders of how life can change in a moment, and can change forever.

Today is a day that I feel ended a lot of things, and started others. All negative consequences.

Today was the end of my life as I planned.

Today was the end of a relationship.

Today was also the start of my unhappiness.

Today was the start to others unhappiness.

Today was a reminder of some decisions you cannot take back.

Today was a day that showed me how something so small could change me so much.

Today is a day that I will always think "what if".

Today is a day that I will dream about forever.

Giggle.

Today has been a good day.

I'm realizing I have a lot to look forward to in the coming year, and tonight I laughed the most I have in at least a week. It felt really good. Maybe I just need to laugh more, even if my laugh is awful. Or maybe I need a happy lamp.

Plus, I have a huge (expensive) delivery coming tomorrow. Christmas present to myself :)
Very excited!

Going to bed with hope of actually sleeping tonight. Really need to get tested for mono soon...

Winter.

I rather regret not having the money to go on vacation. I was supposed to be in Europe and Africa right now for the holidays, but alas I am here during a blizzard. There was absolutely nothing I would've missed doing, and I would finally be away. I badly need a vacation. I'm getting a little stir crazy, and feel like I don't have anything to look forward to, other than work work work.
On the bright side of things, I finally had a reason to wear my winter boots. If only I had a cuddle buddy to drink hot chocolate with while watching the snow fall.
As long as I continue working as much as I am, I think 2013 will be a year of vacations and relaxation before school.
That sounds real nice. It will be nice having money again so I can maybe start to plan some fun activities.

Who wants to go tobogganing?

Fuck Xmas.

Tomorrow will be the first day of me waking up alone on Christmas. I got my traditional food and beverages to keep up the occasion.
I'm not feeling very good going into Christmas but maybe it won't be what I think - maybe I won't spend it alone..
Wishful thinking.
I must say though, Christmas isn't about doing nice things its about being reminded of what you have done wrong and who doesn't care about you.
I love this time of the year.
I really will never understand the hype about this holiday - it fucking blows.
I'm sleeping in.

And remember kids... People don't tell the truth, they tell you the easy thing so they can avoid everything important. Especially at Christmas. People are fucking selfish.

Merry Christmas to anyone who reads this.
But seriously I can't wait until its over. Ill always been the grinch through and through. Ill be bringing in this wonderful holiday alone, hugging a pillow and crying for it to be over.

Dick.

Sometimes all you need to end a day is some dick... Some mcdick. (Note: some real dick would be nice too but that probably won't happen for a while. It's hard when I have an over active sex drive. And it also doesn't help that sex is a common topic at work).
I love mcdick, even if it makes me fatter.

The average person puts and keeps on 1 pound every year at Christmas. I wouldn't mind gaining 5 pounds by the time I'm 30.
Plus, I was told by 4 people today how I have a perfect bottom. Thank you lulu. Not many people can go shopping and only walk out of the mall with something for themselves. But I sure can.

I'm tired and I look forward to my day off. Maybe I'll actually get some stuff for other people tomorrow...

2012.

Tomorrow is the end of the world.
If this happens, I will die alone. No one will try to save me or want to die beside me.
This is everyone's #2 fear, however right now, I don't mind that reality. I just want Christmas and 2012 to be over.

I couldn't even enjoy the Nutcracker fully tonight. What did I do so wrong?

Red green blue

Christmas is the loneliest time of the year. I'm envious of any person that says the opposite.

I'm just going to stay at home, not work and watch my Christmas tree turn from red to green to blue until Christmas finally passes and feel that spring is on the way.

Vodka with cranberry ginger ale may become the new best part of this festive holiday.

I'm trying to figure out if there is anyone I should be buying a gift for this year but can't really think of any. Seems to be shaping into the worst Christmas ever.

I was hopeful but now I am not.
December and Christmas is the worst time of the year for someone single and with no one.
But I do have vodka so that is good enough to get me through most days. Luckily I'm barely working this week now so I can continue to drown myself in my misery. I definitely deserve it.

I probably won't write much this holiday because I'm thinking of the following shitty dates:
November 30
December 02
December 12-13
December 17
December 25
December 29
December 31

I do wish everyone else a happy holiday because most people enjoy time to themselves and are happy.

Christmas set up.

I have been procrastinating setting up my apartment for Christmas, so I figured a Saturday night spent alone was a perfect night to do so (and foreshadow).
I think it will be a very lonely Christmas but it was nice putting all the ornaments on the tree because they are memories from different years prior.
I liked how Penny had a fake fireplace in her apartment (Big Bang Theory) and think it would be great in my apartment so I could hang up my stocking. Alas I am unable to find one online. It would really add some warmth to my living room.
Madi also likes Christmas. Hopefully she doesn't break anything this year.

Christmas movie watching will commence tomorrow I think :)

Ellie.

Oh Ellie I do like your music. However, I figured it wasn't a good idea to listen to a song about a car accident (Anything Can Happen) while driving.
Apparently I was right because a minute after I did listen to it, I DID get into an accident. My first. Hopefully my only.
It wasn't my fault, but it did shake me up a lot. I was in shock so I was incredibly nice, was smiling and making jokes. Probably not the first thing you do when you just got smashed from behind on the highway. I'm glad I wasn't meant to die yesterday, my life didn't flash before my eyes - I just thought "fuck" and closed my eyes.

My day got worse by getting stuck in traffic for 3 hours. THREE hours. In the GTA. Stupid. I was so frustrated and paranoid because it was the first snowfall of the year then I saw 5 accidents on my way home. I almost started to cry but then!!! I went to Jacks and had some drinks with people and started to feel better and ended the night at The Keg sitting by the fireplace.

Going to find out the damage today.
My poor little 2007 got beat up by a 2012. Pick on something your own age :(

Oh, for the people that are reading this and maybe a little worried, I'm okay and woke up with no pains anywhere. But thank you for your concern.

New and Improved.

I haven't written about my new job, but it's keeping me fairly busy. I missed that feeling. A lot of the busyness has to do with sitting at the bar after work drinking and testing food on the menu. The general consensus is that I like my new job and look forward to going to work... And we have really good nachos. I know I'll laugh and have a good time. Plus, it's nice making money again.

Although I do enjoy my job, I look forward to my day off tomorrow. I worked for the last 7 days straight and am excited to do absolutely nothing all day.

I'm going to watch some shows and relax with my cat.

There wasn't much point to me writing, other than to say I'm glad the way things are now. I'm slowly getting back to myself.

Hugs.

I wish I didn't break everything I touch.
I feel that things are changing and not sure what to do.

One thing I know for sure - a kitty hug may involve hair going up your nose or in your mouth, but it does make you feel good.

Nutcracker.

It's that time of the year again! I believe I have said it before, but when I see The Nutcracker every year, it feels as though it is the beginning of the Christmas season. It's usually colder, maybe even snow on the ground and the music... Oh the music really is Christmas music. I couldn't listen to it any other time of the year. Plus, it's a great excuse to dress up pretty!
It's running a little later than usual, so ill be seeing the show only a few days before Christmas. This may mean that I am a grinch leading right up until Christmas. I guess that's not much different than any other year :p

I think this Christmas will be the start of many new traditions, or at least, changing them a little. I haven't decided if this is scary, sad or exciting. I'm teetering on the edge of traditions I was brought up with and growing up and making new ones. The next couple months will require a lot of hard work to get through, but once I do, I hope to finally get back to the person I thought I was and hope I still am.
Listening to music again has helped too - it clears my mind and I find that singing is quite stress relieving.
Anyways before I go off on a tangent, I'm going to go to sleep.
Hope tomorrow isn't too awkward back at FC...

Mistakes.

People make them sometimes.
I would've preferred you to slash my tires.

Ass.

Sometimes I think people go out of their way to be douchebags when I'm just trying to be better.

Single-minded to the point of recklessness...

My my my.

I think I may have just thought of the best idea ever...
More details to come later.

Feast.

Apparently I was going through chocolate withdrawal because I have the following in my apartment right now:
- two bite brownies
- chocolate bars
- chocolate chip cookies
- chocolate ice cream
- chocolate croissants
- coconut cream pie

I know the last one is not chocolate but its still worth putting on the list of reasons why I may get a little chubby.

Looks like my butts about to get bigger! It always seems to go there first. Lucky me.

There seems to be something about chocolate and raspberries that always relaxes me. It's a perfect end to a day.

Election.

So Obama won. Big surprise. However it is nice to know that the US didn't just give the republicans majority. That would've been interesting and terrible. No women's rights! Thank god I don't live in America.

On a separate note, I went to see Argo. It seemed to fit the political craziness that is Election Day, and it did not disappoint. It was an excellent film. I recommend it. It also put the Canadians in a great light (saviors) and same with the Americans.

So if you have been feeling political this week, go catch a movie. Otherwise, wait until Skyfall comes out, I'm sure it will be just as suspenseful.

Screw it.

I took my blog down because I didn't think people wanted to know about my negativity lately, but you know what? I don't care. I like writing and having people read my thoughts and getting to know me. So I've been down, doesn't mean to shut myself off.

I decided to put it back up because I want to vent about the lemons and strawberries again. I apologize it has been mostly lemons as of late, but I am starting to come around to the idea that this was just a temporary phase - and that I will get back to who I know I am to be soon.

On a separate note:
I wanted to download some new music and asked around for some ideas.

The ones I picked so far:
New Mumford (obv)
New Temper Trap
New Metric
Mother Mother
The Lumineers
Silversun pickups
Of monsters and men
Passion Pit
Young the Giant
Muse
Alex Clare

I'm basically going to get rid of everything off my iPod ( except my favs) and listen to some new stuff. I've been listening to Young the Giant on repeat right now so we will see. I don't usually like music the first time I hear it.

Tomorrow should be a fun day - going back to some old traditions and finally making money. Looks like I may be able to afford my rent next month!

But seriously, I am starting to feel better as each day passes. I don't feel like I hit rock bottom, but I was close enough to know that it's not what I want for myself.

My apologizes if I cut anyone out, but I'm just trying to surround myself with positive people- it's what I need right now.

Also, I posted about watching V for Vendetta tonight and noticed that someone on my Facebook noted that 8 people had done the same. I just wanted to say how cool it is that an idea really can touch people and motivate them. I watch it every year and am glad that others do too. It reminds me to use the voice i have and fight for what i believe in (obviously the movie was about society but I'm generalizing.)

If you didn't watch it tonight I recommend making it a tradition to remember remember the 5th of November.

Good night.

Lonely. Sometimes.

Yesterday I felt a little lonely. But today I felt a little more myself.

I had a pretty cool dream involving me working as a scientist in space and discovering a new world in a different universe that was very similar to ours. The only differences were that everyone was treated the same and there was no currency. Everyone lived on cruise ships and were treated like royalty.
I had never seen so many stars.... It was one of the coolest and most memorable dreams I have ever had.

Sleep has definitely been easier and more consistent lately. It's been a nice change.

There is something about knowing i am truly loved by someone that makes me feel differently and hopeful about my future. Maybe it's just the fact that no matter what I do or if I fall behind, there will always be someone rooting for me to get back up again and try again.

Some people say that you should love thyself first and foremost, but being loved doesn't harm anyone either.

Heard a quote today I liked as well.
"You're only as sick as your secrets"

Doesn't really apply to what I'm talking about but I don't want to forget it either.

Night puddin.

Normal.

I had a really pleasant day today. I felt more normal - back to me. I was smiling, laughing, making jokes and I think more pleasant to be around overall.

It was also nice not being on my phone all the time. For obvious reasons of course, but also because I wasn't keeping track of the time and just enjoying my day. Probably didn't hurt that the sun finally peaked out while driving.

It was refreshing. I want every day to be like today.
I'm going to bed relaxed and happy.

The Secret.

I feel like I'm going to be sick tonight... I feel it rising in my throat and can almost taste it.

I'm reading The Secret and it's supposed to be motivational and thought provoking - but it's just reminding me of my negative mind and negative thoughts... And these negatives thoughts are bringing me negative experiences because that's what I am putting into the universe.

I just feel so alone. Probably more alone than I have ever been. Someone told me today that I have nothing keeping me here and it's true. I could try and start over somewhere new or I could stay in the same spot.

My red flame is now blue.
My life and everyone in it seems boring and typical. I want inspiration and spontaneity and love and happiness. Why aren't people like this anymore? Is it that we turn a certain age and stop living? Turn into the walking dead? I feel dead on a day to day basis and haven't felt alive in a long time. Even after my interesting weekend, I wasn't thrilled, I wasn't changed, I wasn't different.

What's wrong with me? What happened to my flame? Am I destined to live with a blue flame until it runs out for good?

I used to have so much faith in love and life and happiness. I may not have had all of these things at once but I had them.

Where did it all go? Where did I go?
I don't want to be like this forever- maybe the universe will see that I'm searching for something - maybe someone who will restore my faith in love and life and send them to me.

Sigh... I'm asking too much.

I want to see the sun again.

Scar.

This scar will be a reminder of what it means to lose yourself over someone who does not love you or respect you.

And how truly desperate it makes you feel.

November will hopefully be the start of getting "me" back - the little brunette firecracker that doesn't take shit from anyone. I miss her a lot lately and am ashamed of what she has become.

The truth

You are an empty soul
You have no personality
You are just someone for sex
You are ugly
You are sad
You make life less exciting
You bring everyone down
No one wants to be around you
You have no one
You have a fake future
You can count the people that would miss you on one hand
You will always be second pick
You let people walk all over you
You are just like your mother

You have nothing .

Life is just not worth the fight

Changes.

So. I have been up all night.
I basically spent the last few hours designing my new bedroom and living room. I've lived in my apartment for the last year, and figured it was time to make it homie - my home. I have planned it all out so I can do everything for under $200 (and thats being generous) for a complete makeover. With the help of my friends (ahem) and prepaid credit cards from my work, it will be easy to do and actually only cost me a matter of dollars. It's amazing what you can accomplish on a budget and from things you already have! I'm using my creativity and skills to create art, make furniture and use all the space in my apartment. Electronically, I will need some serious upgrades, but that will come when I'm working more.

In the meantime, I'm getting rid of a lot of furniture that I do not foresee myself ever using. I want to have my own stuff and have it be nice stuff. Emphasis on the nice.

I'm really excited and can't wait to get started tomorrow!
Maybe I should get some sleep first.

Gamble.

I am the Madonna of the unloved.

They say lucky at cards, unlucky in love. I've been lucky at cards my whole life.

I always thought the person that could play me "Comptine D'Un Autre Ete" perfectly would be the one I grow old with. Alas, no one I've met can play the piano and has never has taken the time to perfect it.
Perhaps someday.

Podcasts.

I have recently been getting involved with podcasts. They are great for pursuing an interest of yours - and is great listening while you're driving.

Since relationships have always been an interest of mine (not necessarily being in one) but the dynamics, I found a great podcast called "My Picker is Broken". It's about people's bad decisions when it comes to relationships and the stupidity people let fly.

Some people have it really bad - and date some really sick weirdos.

I wish I could learn more from these types of stories, and apply them to my relationships so they weren't so disastrous. Unfortunately I can handle other people's problems, just not my own.

The people in these podcasts date crazies - my problem is that I'm too nice. I give people too many chances because I have a hopeless romantic side and believe in soulmates.

...

Or maybe my picker is as broken as everyone else's.

Moving on.

Gifts - hidden
Private photos - deleted
Photos on phone - deleted
Videos - deleted
Texts - deleted
Proof of phone calls - deleted
Contact info - deleted

Voicemail - not deleted
Maybe I'll have the courage in a couple days.

Memories - not deleted
These will slowly slip away with time, I have a bad memory anyways.

I hope this is the last post about heartbreak I will write. Knowing myself it probably won't be - I'm not holding my breath.

Here's to hoping anyways and more fulfilling life moments.

Crashing.

I wish I were confident.
I feel so ugly and boring.

I miss me, I wonder if she will ever come back.

Bam bam.

The constant feel of rejection is really starting to weigh on me. My confidence goes up for a bit then smashes back down.

Shooting guns today definitely made me feel better, temporarily.

What am I going to do with myself?

I will not become the stepping stone, I won't let that happen. I am the girl you would be lucky to end up with.

.

Tonight is one of those nights I wish that I wouldn't wake up in the morning.

Exciting!

Oh man, i saw that there is a new Aren't We Naughty OUTLET STORE opening near my place. I know what I'm doing tomorrow! Getting rid of some stuff and replacing it with new, fun and exciting things.

Oh oh oh! Sex convention this month. Seems like its going to be a sexier month than I originally planned.

I also discovered that I much prefer the sound of "Katy" over "Kathryn" during intimate moments. Kathryn makes me sound old and I don't want to feel old during those things. Definitely going back to Katy for the time being. I want to feel like myself again, and feel 25 - not 45. I do not have my shit figured out and I'm okay with that. There is plenty of time to grow up.

Negativity.

Apparently I seem "down" so to appease everyone, I thought I would write about something positive.

I just got back from my first orientation at Jacks and I have to say I'm looking forward to working at a place that wearing your hair down is mandatory, lulu lemons are uniform and i had to draw and sing during the interview.

I still get the rest of the week to relax and have a second go at Oktoberfest this weekend. I enjoy dressing up - it's a time when I can become someone else.

Quick nap then off for dinner and a movie date.

Ruined.

I hope to be a believer again someday.

I look forward to feeling alive.

I have a feeling it's going to be a very difficult winter.

everything you want.

The next time I sing karaoke, I'm going to sing this song.
Honestly, I'm so glad I grew up in the 90s.

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say 

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why 

But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for 

Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return 


He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why 

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why

Oktoberfestivus.

I'm getting excited - Oktoberfest tonight!
This year I had a little more time to plan, so I actually have a costume. Oh man, it's going to be awesome. It may be freakishly cold tonight, but that's okay! I will be all liquored up and in a great mood. I enjoy celebrating the culture of some of the most beautiful people in the world AND I get to celebrate the last day at my job AND do the chicken dance better than the rest. Then I'm doing it all over again next weekend. It's going to be an awesome week off.

I just hope my headache goes away, it's very annoying and don't want it to wreck my excitement. I have already taken two advil.

Only one more hour until FREEDOM!
It will be a good feeling walking out of here today. I get to sleep in for a week, and it's turkey day tomorrow. I'm actually in the mood for turkey this year. Especially lathered in homemade cranberry sauce.. mmm...

Speaking of food, I am so hungry I am going to DEVOUR them Oktoberfest Sausages tonight. They will fill me up real nice :)

Funny.

During my procrastination when I came into work today (3 days left), I found this wonderfully clever photo and I think it describes what people think of me in the workplace... Just kidding. But I did think it was funny and almost choked on my cereal.

Gah, today is going to be a boring day. I can feel it.

Quebec.

I hate it here so much. I even got in trouble for having my feet up. Sorry fuckers, I've been up since 4am and I'm pretty fucking tired.

I think if I was able to have sex in the court room where I was fighting my tickets, it would be more than ample justice against this situation and I would gladly pay my tickets.

Best.

I just wanted to post
THE BEST CARD I'VE EVER SEEN.

Lol.

Yowza.

This years Cirque du Soleil was unreal.

However, there is one change I would've made...

Instead of Cirque du Soleil: Amaluna, I would call it...

Cirque du Soleil: SEX.

It was the sexiest and enjoyable couple hours I've had in a long time.
I'm ready for round two. ;)

Tonight I am going to bed feeling the hole in my heart a little more than I have lately.

It feels like its growing...

Activities.

The next couple weeks should be fun! I have so many activities lined up.

Dodgeball, XXX-rated Yuk Yuks, Cirque du Soleil (looks AMAZING this year), Nuit Blanche, Quebec (not so fun), last company party going hardy, more dodgeball, and Oktoberfest! I need to pull out my hat and feather.

Oh boy, it's too bad I'm poor. But I just need to get my head back into the idea that going out IS A GOOD THING and money is not the most important thing. This month is going to be tough financially but I think I will feel better than I have over the last few months.

Yay, I'm excited.

Only one more week of jail and then I'll be free to have some time to myself. I won't be so tired all the time, and will have money again to go on vacation. I am due for some time away. Vegas may be first up!

On a different note, I have wasted my entire day doing nothing. I complete a task every couple hours to make it *look* like I'm doing something. It's gone very well so far. I think I may call in sick a couple days next week and get a doctors note for a pulled muscle in my back. Hmm... smart.

Quitting.

There are so many great reasons to quit a job, but unfortunately once it's done you have absolutely no motivation to do any work for the remainder of your time there.
Instead?
I started reading my old blog from when I was a teenager.
http://katrinee.blogspot.ca/

It makes me laugh and proud of getting over the shit I was put through when I was younger. It explains so much. 

Only good thing about salary is you can do shit all day and get paid the same amount. Salary jobs are ideal for slackers. I have literally wasted 4 hours doing nothing and get to leave soon.

BONUS.

Official.

It's official.

Official.

I'm a little nervous and panicked about what I just did.

I have quit my job. I have given my two week notice.

I have found a new job. I will be starting soon.

I am cashing out all of the perks I have received, and vacation...  And benefits. Finally going to the dentist tomorrow.

Yesterday I was screaming with excitement, and today I'm screaming with terror.

It's going to be an interesting month or two... this was a risk that I needed to make.
We shall see what happens!!

Fingers crossed it doesn't turn out to be a disaster.

New Beginnings.

It's not official yet but new things are on the horizon. I'll be able to write more tomorrow about details but ill just leave it like that for now. I didn't really think I would change my life so drastically over a few days however there is no better time than the present. I'm tired of staying in unhealthy situations and want to start anew.

I'm a little nervous but excited to get my life back on track.

Started with new hair as a jumping off point and now I'm diving straight into life. Guess we will see how it goes... Maybe this is another catastrophic mistake or maybe, just maybe this is what I should've been doing all along.

To be continued.

Goyte.

When his song came out, I really hated it.
I wasn't sure why until now.
I know now it was metaphorically foreshadowing my life while it was popular. And I knew that things would end up that way. It's funny how you make excuses for not following your gut.

I now have a feeling that my life is going to take a drastic turn and completely change. We shall see what happens on Monday- could be a start of a new chapter. Sure hope it's a good one, I'm ready to be happy again and not so sappy and miserable.

Here's to hoping!

Tell me how you really feel.

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK

YES, I'M TYPING IN CAPS ON PURPOSE.

THIS HAS BEEN THE WEEK FROM HELL AND I'M REALLY FUCKING TIRED OF PEOPLE'S BULLSHIT. DO I LOOK LIKE A PUNCHING BAG? DO I LOOK LIKE A PORT-A-POTTY? DO I HAVE A SIGN ON MY FACE THAT SAYS 'SHIT HERE'? (NOT SEXUALLY MEANING, BUT THAT ALSO APPLIES).

GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK.

I'M ABOUT TO WIPE MY HANDS OFF AND SAY 'FUCK YOU' TO ANYONE WHO THINKS  THEIR PROBLEMS ARE MY PROBLEMS.

BELIEVE ME, I HAVE ENOUGH OF MY OWN. I DO NOT NEED YOUR BULLSHIT. I DON'T CARE IF IT'S PART OF MY JOB OR NOT.

GUESS WHAT? I AM BETTER THAN YOU. I AM BETTER THAN THIS BULLSHIT. I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF THIS, AND AM NOT GOING TO GET SUCKED INTO YOUR NEGATIVITY AND STUPIDITY ANY LONGER.

I WISH THIS YEAR COULD BE ERASED AND I DIDN'T MAKE SO MANY BAD LIFE DECISIONS ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR GUT.

SCREW YOUR MANIPULATIVE TACTICS, ARROGANCE, AND LYING.
I'M NOT THE TISSUE YOU WIPE YOUR ASS WITH.



THEY SAY LOVE IS BLIND, BUT LOVE JUST MAKES YOU FUCKING STUPID. 

I want one.

 

New species of monkey found a few years ago. I want one of these to hang out at my apartment and have dinner with me on my balcony. I think they would be a super cool friend to have around. This may be weird, but maybe they would be a good hugger? That's also kind of important. My cat not a very good hugger, except if you consider "arm hugging" a thing. 

He does look like a human with a furry face, but doesn't he look so wise? Understanding?

This picture makes me happy.

I think I would name him...

Lester.