Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine

Maybe not tonight 

Tears.

People always say that they're busy. But working 40 hours a week isn't exactly a long week. It's below average. 

I just finished day 15 in a row. Maybe that's not very much for some, but it was a lot of a "working mindset". Day after day.

My point is that even after 15 days in a row, I was driving to work and started to tear up. Not because of exhaustion, but from a moment of clarity. Today I realized that I still have the mindset to do anything I put my mind to, and that I'm going to be okay. Life is beautiful, and I am truly blessed for everything I have. It's been a rough few months, but today I was crying from joy. I had many thoughts that this transition was going to destroy what what left of my heart and mind, it didn't. While I was driving, it just dawned on me that everything is going to be okay! I'm so thankful for today, and the opportunity of starting over. Thankful that it is summer again, and that I have so many fun activities to look forward to. I can blast music in my car with the windows down. My ears ring because my music is so loud. I don't care that I don't have a/c, because I throw my left arm into the wind and breathe in the air. Thankful for meeting new people, and reconnecting with people that I've lost touch with. Having a few drinks and doing silly things. Summer brings out the child in me. The hopeful child. 

If I had the chance to go back and change things, I would. Certain elements that were more harm than good. But realistically, it's not possible. And I wouldn't be here, right now, sitting outside enjoying the sunshine , feeling blissful , if it wasn't for every moment leading up to this one. 

Getting tired.

Going onto day 9 of 15 in a row . 

Why do I do this to myself? 

Oh wait, the answer is kind of depressing. 

Today is not a friendly reminder.

Love your mother. 

They won't be here forever. 

Moods.

Then there are those beautiful days when I feel sad. 

I'm not sure why. 

Change is good.

I'm always amazed how quickly life can turn around. As they say, you gota work with what you got. 

What I got, is pretty amazing. 

Perspective is a life changer. 

Feeling blessed today. 

Maybe I'll become a believe again sooner than I thought.