Tomorrow will be a day to test myself. I wish the emotional scars of the past year did not run so deep. Unfortunately most scars stay visible for a very long time, if not forever. I have been happier lately - my confidence is slowly on the rise with a new haircut and clothes, but I still have some weaker days when I want to go back. Back to a time when I was happy being in love. I'm not referring to any time in particular or with anyone. Just the feeling of being in love, the honeymoon phase when all you need is them.
Tomorrow is the first night where someone has planned it all out as a surprise in a very long time. A first date. I feel excited and giddy, however it also makes me sad that the past will continue to become more hidden away. Those specific memories will lapse and not matter. I'm still battling if I am even ready to bury the times I still hold so close to my heart. I have consumed myself with these memories over the last week, all the times that were oh so different, I was in control. Only a couple more days this week of being back in my favourite area, which holds so many thoughts and feelings. I will have to let go.
At the end of the month when I am finished working, I will have some wings at Duffs, and finally say goodbye to everything that was, and never will be.
