The most flawless trip i could ever dream of... Part 1

Right now I am sitting on a cliff at a cafe in the town of Fira on Santorini island drinking a frappe, listening to Greek music, watching the donkeys saunter past, and of course loving every moment of my present existence. This trip has truly been too good to be true and exceeded all expectations. In saying that, I want to note that I have wanted to go on this trip for many years past, and my expectations were through the roof. The people, culture, food, history and scenery have taken my breath away everyday and makes me never want to leave this amazing country.

The thought of leaving makes my nose and eyes tingle because it is so close to the end.

Life is so different here - it is slower and modest, and people are instantly treated as family. The day I arrived on the island of Syros, I automatically relaxed and felt more like myself. I thought it would take days, or even the entirety of my trip to feel relaxed. But on these islands, you cannot be anything but that and thankful for being led to such a beautiful place.

I could sit here everyday if I was able.

Now that I have given the thesis of my trip, I should start at the beginning and how it all unfolded to where I am sitting eight days later. I still have a couple days left, but I will be back in Athens. I felt like writing now because of the music serenading me, and it is quite suiting to my feelings of inner peace and contentment.

Day 1 - Toronto - Brussels - Athens
After going to work for 5 hours, My holiday started by going home and packing. I thought I was very short of time so i was rushing - as most people do everyday in Toronto. I took a cab and got through baggage and security in the entirety of 10 minutes. I called my boss and told her that 3 hours before departure was complete bs. I got a very blueberry muffin and tea, and was one of the last to get on the plane. Why spend more time in cramped courters and recycled air? I was going to do it for 11 hours.

Sidenote: while I am writing this, some woman is screaming in a foreign language about her donkey.

What an ass. Lol, pun.

Anyways, I boarded the plane, thankful I booked a window seat for both flights. I sat beside a woman that did not speak a word of English, but was very sweet to me. I always pop a couple Gravol, wear a sleeping mask and earplugs and sleep as much as I can to pass time. This lady beside me got me snacks while I was sleeping and woke me up for dinner. I was absolutely starving so I ate all of the chicken-potato-veggie concoction they brought out. The television in front of the lady beside me did not get any brighter, so I tried to help her and communicate through hand motions. This communication got me through the entire trip! The lights were dimmed early to get people adjusted to the time change, so I watched a few Friends episodes and New Girl before the Gravol ensured I could not stay awake any longer. It was probably the most uncomfortable plane ride I had ever encountered, but I managed to pass the time. Before I knew it, we were making our stop in Brussels. It was raining but green, green, green. I knew that I was in a different country. I thought I was going to miss my connection, and the lady beside me pushed me ahead of as many people as possible. I started to run, when I realized I had my time change wrong and had an hour longer than i thought. Oops - what an idiot. I walked around the airport surrounded by Belgian chocolate (I resisted surprisingly), grabbed a smoothie and had another difficult time telling someone the time - so I used my hands to motion 8-4-0 and gave the thumbs up, and she did it back.

It was a very short stopover, so we were back in the air in no time. I sat beside these 2 young boys who were dowsed in a cologne that I have smelt before and not fond of. I curled up in a ball and slept for the full three hours to Athens - with my face in my sweater.

From the airplane, Athens doesn't look like much. It's very dry and brown. I was still a little drowsy so I tried to wrap my head around the fact that I was in Greece. It should've been a YAYYYYY!!! But was more like a whoop. Thank goodness everything was in Greek and English, because I had only read over a few words in my little book. My bag was one of the last out - my biggest fear when traveling. I navigated my way to the metro (subway) and was thankful that I had a map with directions, in English. There were a bunch of fresh people getting on the metro and no one knew where they were going. We all just hopped onto one and hoped for the best. I figured, what was the worst that could happen? I met a fellow Canadian from Manitoba and a guy from the states that had no idea where they were going. We all just chatted until we got off at our stops. I walked a few blocks out of the way and got slightly lost, but ended up finding my way to the hotel. I learned very quickly that pedestrians do not have the right-of-way and to look both ways, twice, before crossing. Also, I had never seen so many motorcycles, mopeds, vespas, scooters in one place - this became the norm as the trip progressed. I got my hotel key and walked into the smallest room I had ever seen. The view was gorgeous - a wall and air conditioner. I didn't keep the window open.

Day 2 - Four corners of the world.

I took a nap for a bit before meeting everybody for the first time at 630pm. It was a very eclectic bunch- all ages and continents. I was the only one from Canada, three from the US, one from Germany, one from New Zealand, five from Australia, one guide from Slavania and two from Greece. Wowzers. After a brief stop back to our rooms, we all ventured out together down the winding streets for dinner at a locally ran Greek restaurant. I don't think I had ever been in such a small place. This is when names were matched to faces and starting to get to know each other. We ordered some local Greek wine, which I thoroughly enjoyed and shared some tapas. I ordered a Greek inspired pasta, which I ate in entirety because I was so hungry. The first meal was a success and delicious, even through the language barriers. Wine is as cheap as water, so we sat and enjoyed some political discussions of Greece and other European countries, and learned about the Euro. A few of us were not ready to call it a night so Theo took us around the town and we sat at a cool bar that sat on a slant and was situated right below the Acropolis, which is lit up at night. It was a beautiful evening. We drank some Mythos, one of the local beers and continued discussion on politics and other subjects. We definitely spent a lot of time talking about politics because it was the eve of the election. Everyone knows the turmoil that Greece has faced over the past year, so I am happy that we were around. (I'll continue this part later). We witnessed a waiter dump an entire tray of drinks on a table, finished our drinks and headed back to the hotel because we had to leave at 600am. I was blown away by the amount of graffiti in the city - I had never seen so much before. Galia (Germany) said that this was typical for Europe. I settled into my single room and went to sleep.

Day 3 - Athens - Syros

Although it wasn't a very long sleep, I actually slept quite well and woke up at 545am. I got all my stuff together and very sleepily went downstairs. I was the last person to meet, as per usual, and walked towards the metro. It was amazing how busy the city was so early in the morning. We took the metro for about 30 minutes toward the ferry that would take us to the island of Syros. Galia gave me a hat that she bought the day before on the way because it was so incredibly bright. We stood around waiting for boarding, and started talking to Bex (NZ) for the first time. This was a trip she was treating herself to for her upcoming birthday, and then moving to London to start a new chapter... All the while, only bringing a backpack to do it. I had a lot of respect for her because there are not many people that can move half way around the world with a single backpack strapped to their shoulders.

We loaded the ferry and dropped off our luggage. We walked up to the back deck and got settled. It was a perfect morning.

I went to get some tea and a Greek breakfast item that was a pastry with feta inside. It was quite tasty. As we pulled out of the harbor, it was getting much clearer that I was in a different world. The view of Athens and the cool ocean breeze was absolutely wonderful.

We sat around for a bit and chatted - getting to know Ashley, Sarah, Galia and Bex. Kris came over and told us a brief history of the formation of Greece from 5000BC onwards. I have never been into history, so I didn't realize the extent of the importance of ancient Greece. Most importantly, democracy. But I soaked up every word and learned alot.

We started playing cards, first some asshole (which is a universal game apparently) and hearts (which I wasn't very good at). Cards and talking made the 3 hour ferry ride much more enjoyable. We walked up to the front to get some freah air and see if we could go hang out with the captain. We sent Bex to use her hot accent to win him over. Unfortunately it didn't work. This was when I realized how blue blue blue the water was - not the turquoise you see many places, but a dark clear blue, a color I had never seen before. We watched as we got closer to Syros island and when we came around to the harbor, my breath was blown away. Such a peaceful, beautiful town situated on a hill with churches at its peaks. Picturesque. Words cannot describe the feeling of peace and happiness that gripped my soul at that very moment. I knew it would be an unforgettable trip, and wouldn't want to leave.

We pulled up into the harbor and was amazed how the captain could whip around the boat and land it perfectly stern out by the harbor. This was not a small ferry. We rounded up our things and walked out and toward our hotel. It was about a 5 minute walk. Our hotel was situated in a square with bakeries, restaurants and markets. Bex and I decided to be roomies, so we got our key and headed to the second floor. The room wasn't much, but the view from our gigantic balcony faced onto the square, bustling with busy life. It was fantastic! Everyone was pretty tired but went on the orientation walk around the "downtown" area to familiarize ourselves. Once we got to city hall, we sat at a small little local place as a group. The people working there put up umbrellas all around us to block us from the sun. The view and the atmosphere was pretty cool. There were little kids playing soccer beside us and I was tempted to get up and join them.

Theo and Kris ordered food for the entire table so we could test and try many different dishes. This became a theme of the trip. I don't think there was any better way to try Greek cuisine. Dishes upon dishes were brought out, and I tried and loved every item. I was stuffed by the time we had finished. The owner brought out a dessert (I forget what it was called) but we were trying to figure out what it reminded us of. Sarah put it best by calling it "gingerbread jello". It was quite delicious. Getting free food or drinks also became a theme of the trip as well.

We divided up the bill and had free time for the rest of the day. Bex and I walked around for a bit and stopped in one of the only stores open during siesta. Siesta is the time of day around 12-5pm that everyone basically says f-u work, and goes to drink at a local bar etc. I tried on a few long dresses which would never fit me back home, but Greek woman are shorter so they didn't hit the ground! Everything was super see through so I didn't get anything. I purchased a really tacky towel since it was the only thing I had forgotten, looked at some postcards, tried Rose flavored sweets (the worst thing on the planet) and headed back to the hotel to get ready for beach time.

Syros wasn't exactly known for their beaches, so when we weaved (got lost) down to "the beach" it was made of connecting concrete platforms.We roasted in the sun for a bit, but it was getting close to dinner time so we headed back to our hotel on a much more direct route than on the way there. Bex had a strange sense of direction even if she had never been down those roads before in her life!

Back at the hotel, I struggled with the stupid shower head because in Europe.. they are stupid. They don't turn the right way and are the worst water pressure. I basically showered against the wall because it was the only place it would point. So by the time I got out I was frustrated and cold, ha. We got ready for dinner and were the last to meet everyone once again. We met everyone at City Hall and walked a short distance to the restaurant we had a group dinner at. We shared wine, fried cheese and sun dried tomatoes (oh my god, so good) and had chicken souvlaki which wasn't quite as good as I had hoped. Mostly because it was served with rice AND potatoes. Talk about starch overload. We were brought free dessert that was similar to a soft creme brulee, which I was tempted to have two but resisted. Everyone sat around chatting for a little while, mostly about the election that happened earlier that day. It was an interesting time to be there because the minority had become the majority. This was important since it showed that the Greeks were tired of how it was being run with all the turmoil going on.

Once back at the hotel, I stood outside on the balcony for a while, watching/hearing all the people on their bikes going by. We had an early morning to prepare for.

End of Part 1.

Vino.

Nothing beats a bottle of wine at 4am to get a few hours of sleep.

Anger Management.

So I joined an anger management class.

It is known to some as Dodgeball.

There is something incredibly soothing about whipping a ball at a stranger's face. I can honestly say that I wish it was more than once a week.

That may make me a bad person, but try it. You will completely understand.

On a different topic, TGIF!!! I am doing shit-all at work today since I won't be back for almost a week. I'm ready to burn my skin and drink as much as I want. I'm even going to sport a new bathing suit, which I am going to go pick up today at lunch.

Bahamas, here I come.

:)

I hope it thunderstorms tonight so I can watch it over the lake.

Dazed and Confuzzled.

My motivation is almost approaching zero. I have felt sick to my stomach for almost a week and cannot get rid of it. I am very easily put down lately, and my attitude and my waist line are dwindling away. Maybe my stomach hurts because I am hungry, or I am still so disgusted at how things worked out. I always strive to succeed and do not take disappoint well. I like to think that I get what I want when I want it, and I can do anything I set my mind to.

However, the cherry to my very dry and tasteless cupcake happened today when I went in for the highly anticipated interview, and came out feeling low, defeated, and just awful. In retrospect, it would have been better to wait until I am not such an emotional hurricane, but I felt like it was what I needed to get back on my feet again.

Wrong.

After yesterday's 12 hour day of a lot of work and no pay off, plus making a gigantic error that is going to cost me upwards of $1400.00, my confidence was lower than the low of last week. That is seriously saying something. I am starting to realize that all the trips and the things I work hard for are for nothing because I cannot be satisfied with my reality of my shit ton life. Sure, I could move somewhere else and run away from the unhappiness that I create, or I could just be satisfied being unsatisfied. I have faith in people and life that things work out and that happiness is #1 and I am going to get everything I want.

Wrong.

I would usually delete every memory of what makes me feel this way, but I have planted photos and reminders everywhere so I do not get false hope in happiness and love and life. This is important for me to realize that my confidence was a sham and I am no better than the average person. I have no idea why I have felt like that for the past few years.

I think I just did this to make myself feel better about being a terrible and judgmental human being. Expecting people to give me the world because I tried to be everything I could be. Pretending that my average looks and non-existent independence meant that I was better than everyone, and deserved things that I did not. When in reality, I am probably more screwed up and emotionally unstable than the average person, and on top of that, a terrible person to my core.

Correct.

I am someone that can never fully be what someone needs, that I am just "eh", not "wow". Proof is shown time and time again that I am nothing very special and not someone you want your family to meet. I mean, I don't really have a family, or friends, or a job I enjoy, or passion for anything in particular.

Correct.

So far, 2012 has been a stupid and depressing year. I have tried to fill my thoughts of the summer and how happy I am during it, but if I have no one to share it with, what is the point. I would like to find someone to share my time with. Unfortunately, I just do not think I will ever been good enough to keep someone around.

Proven.

Crying.

I had a great day yesterday, followed by the worst day in my Flight Centre career.
I made a huge error...

I want to cry and crawl into a hole for a while. My vacation cannot come soon enough.

Good day.

I had a short but solid sleep. A beer before bed has been my savior for the past few nights (or numerous).
I got spoiled at work - I had clients today that bought everyone coffee, my hot Australian is going home so he got us all bottles of wine and chocolates as a thank you . I wish I was going with him.
Sat on a patio almost getting blown away, luckily I got out of work early so got to enjoy the afternoon weather. I watched Game of Thrones (good episode) and even went grocery shopping! All I need now is a new bikini, some tanning time and I am ready for the Bahamas. I got my itinerary today and I am literally going to be sitting on a beach for four days getting burnt and enjoying myself. Only 6 more days until I am lounging on a beach soaking in the rays. It's amazing how better I feel simply by the weather. I was jamming out yesterday and today with the windows down and the hair blowing in my face.
It's been a good day.

Shirt.

A little perverted but I want a t-shirt that says Orgasm Donor on it.

Big Guns.

Yesterday I had my first big booking. $16,000 booking. Pretty spectacular! I was super nervous and my hands were shaking because I thought I was going to come off like a inexperienced consultant (which I totally am) but it went completely flawless. Knock on wood.
It's pretty amazing how much money people spend on travel. I wish they were not so few and far between or I could actually make decent money at this job.
Only one more day of work and I am off to Victoria for a long weekend. It's a long overdue visit. I am in need of some relaxation!

Global Warming.

I hate to say it, but I love the fact that global warming is progressively getting worse. I know, it's awful - there are many polar bears that are struggling for survival etc etc... however, I hate the winter, so for me, it works.

(I am choosing to be naive).

I truly am a different person when the weather is nice. Maybe my Vitamin D levels were incredibly low, as well as my spirits. I feel that there are very few things that could put a damper on my mood lately. Even after having a 10 hour shift yesterday, I went home with the windows down and went for a 45 minute jog. I almost died because I am still a little out of shape, but I could not stop moving. I did not want to go and sit at home if the sun was still shining on my face. It didn't hurt that I was jamming out to my music. I even got honked at 3 times. Like seriously? I'm all gross when I am jogging, not the most attractive of moments. Oh well, still helped lift my spirits. I definitely pulled a muscle and walking with a slight limp, but I do not care. I'm too positive to be negative.

I feel so motivated to keep busy - I even go to bed at a decent time so I can wake up early and enjoy the morning with my cat. This is in comparison to me normally falling out of bed 30 minutes before my shift. Further, I did all my dishes for the last couple weeks (gross I know) while watching the finale of Walking Dead. Have to say - I was a little disappointed. Not quite the epic ending that I expected.

I feel different, I feel happy and content with my life. It hasn't been this way for months, so I am glad to be back to myself. I took a long walk at lunch, more like a stroll (hands in my pocket, in no rush), down to Subway today and sat in a park on a bench. I just love being warm all over. It makes me so happy. The grass is starting to become green again too - it is so lovely.

I am looking forward to sitting on patios for the next few days, and being warm and probably burning my skin. Apparently they have been crazy busy over the past few days.

Victoria next week. Oh man. So excited.. I should buy a camera. Too bad I don't have any money!!

42 Minutes.

It took exactly one Mumford & Sons album to drive from Guelph door to Toronto door. I thought that was pretty cool how it worked out. I finally picked up my mail from Guelph, which turned out to be around 30 envelopes. Considering it has been at least 8 months since I got my mail, I was quite relieved to know that I do not owe any company an obscene amount of money. On the contrary, I actually received hundreds of dollars of government money. Woo!
I'm glad I went - it seems that I know more people in Guelph than I thought. St. Patty's Day was a good day to go, lots of people going back to visit. I did feel quite old though when I first arrived, everybody looks so young and a lot of them, quite tragic looking. But once the drinks were a-flowin, I felt like a student again. Plus, I can always count on Guelph to boost my self-esteem, random people calling out at you left, right and center -- good for the confidence.

I feel good - it's been a great weekend.
Just what I needed.
I was even wearing shorts all night and did not get cold!

Having sushi may not have been the prime choice for lunch after a hefty night of drinking, but oh well.
Mmm, naptime.

Pathetic.

Lol.

I started reading some of my old (really old and more current) entries about my numerous past relationships that I have publicly written about. I have been shaking my head and laughing at myself for about 20 minutes. I have found a general theme of my entries after a break up, and do not want to continue it. It is actually quite predictable.

How can I put it...
Metaphoric stupidity?
Contemptuous pity?
Lacking love?

Those could all fit quite nicely and are repeatedly seen in the majority of my entries. I first started a blog in 2003 (katrinee.blogspot.com) for the sole purpose of writing down all of the daily happenings of my life, interesting or not. This was grade 11 for goodness sake. Considering it was just after my mom died, I still made ridiculous jokes and made up words on a daily basis. It would take me an hour or two a day to write about my bus ride and how many tests I did not pass in high school. This was around the time that I found out I was moving to Ontario permanently. I enjoy going back to revisit myself as a youngen, but I truly have not changed that much.

I am now just rambling off, but I did have a point of writing this.

I may have not changed very much as a person, definitely still the spoiled and self-centered type, however my writing has changed drastically. This has probably stemmed from the fact that I put so much of my energy into my relationships, that once they fall apart I become more negative and angsty. I have done numerous amazing things over the past few years, yet never took the time to write about them (I do have the memory of a goldfish). However, I have invested much of my time saying rude and hurtful (public) things about people I have dated.

The question is, what is the point?
Has it made me feel better writing these things?
Temporarily.

I do not think I want temporary fixes anymore, well certain ones are okay. :p

I have Victoria, Bahamas and Greece to look forward to.
Let's focus on that.

Honey.

Nothing lasts forever - except honey. My relationships are never as sweet as honey.

You're probably right - maybe I am meant to be alone.

Great

Oh this is familiar...

Addiction 2 Katy 0

Blue Mazda 3.

My little box of joy.

My car was parked after I probably shouldn't have been driving.

I sat in my car tonight and just screamed lyrics to songs at full blast - my ears are now ringing. I don't feel like I can just get out my frustration many other ways.
Sometimes I just want to put music on and drive until I cannot drive anymore - who knows where it will take me. But I don't really care at the moment as long as its away from the life I live right now.

I just want to scream and sing and look stupid from passer-byers because at least I can be myself for once.

I need to get out.

I Like.

Mix work and pleasure. Then give it a shake.

La la la la la.

I am at the eye doctor and in a couple minutes my eyes will be so dilated that I won't be able to see phone anymore. However I just wanted to note how much I love dating someone who sings all the time. I usually sing so much but I love the sound of your voice that I don't want to drown it out with my terrible vocals.
Last night we went to a old-person karaoke bar.... The croc rock in Toronto. Brandon may have been much more drunk than me, and was interested in singing. He liked the playlist so much he took a copy with him home. He sang me one of my favorite songs by Coldplay - Yellow. By the second time he went up, he had groupies calling his name. Pretty funny.
I think I will surprise him one say and sing him a song at a really busy karaoke bar.. :)

Storytime. While Working.

READY
2:58:17 PM me
??
2:59:58 PM me
there once was a tree that couldnt grow leaves
3:00:38 PM Brandon
It was the only one in the whole forest
3:00:51 PM Brandon
as long as it could remeber, it was leafless
3:01:34 PM me
all his friends around him made fun of him and called him...
3:03:19 PM Brandon
douglas fir-less
3:04:50 PM me
poor dougy didn't know what was wrong with him!
3:05:06 PM me
he tried everything
3:05:21 PM me
he drank as many raindrops as possible
3:05:33 PM me
kept warm through the winter
3:05:41 PM me
nothing worked!
3:06:36 PM Brandon
he even tried tree-roids
3:06:51 PM Brandon
despite the potential side effects
3:07:09 PM me
lol
3:07:17 PM me
(damn them roids)
3:07:51 PM me
he wondered if it was because his roots were crossed
3:08:53 PM Brandon
they were horribly tangled. But he continued to grow as tall as the other trees
3:09:27 PM me
but his lack of confidence was seen in his droopy branches
3:09:39 PM Brandon
almost as tall as treebeard, lord of the trees
3:10:35 PM me
one day, he snapped (not literally)
3:10:40 PM me
!!
3:11:40 PM Brandon
and declared that he would no longer be leafless by the end of the next summer
3:12:21 PM me
he pondered the best approach, because it was this or nothing!
3:12:41 PM me
by the end of winter, he decided and went for it.
3:13:05 PM me
he pulled his roots and swung around too and fro
3:13:17 PM me
branches snapping but he didnt care
3:13:38 PM me
he heard a "yelp!" and stopped moving so muhc
3:14:21 PM me
it was this moment that he realized that he had been rooted to another tree, budding on all branches, so beautiful and strong (lol. Doug noticed that not only were his roots tangled with the tree's roots beside him, but they seemed to go comepletely underneath, and off into the forest
me
that was so random
3:59:25 PM Brandon
what was?
3:59:36 PM Brandon
im going off what you said
3:59:41 PM me
lol this story doesnt make alot of sense
3:59:50 PM Brandon
but i didnt really understand what you said
4:01:50 PM me
the moment that dougy realized the beautiful tree that he was connected to, his branches lifted and angelic music was all around him
4:05:48 PM me
his question was answered in that moment and buds began to show
4:06:06 PM me
the sun started shining on him and his leaves grew large and bright
4:06:18 PM me
brighter than all the other trees in the forest
4:06:29 PM me
for the first time, he was the center of attention
4:07:59 PM me
the female tree turned around and was attracted to the tree that was so bright and said hello.
4:08:21 PM me
they created small little fir trees and kept them warm through the winter
4:08:32 PM me
(fir trees - kept them warm) haha punny?
4:08:36 PM me
THE END

Fuckernutter.

I was packing and found my skydiving video. Yay!!!

Unfortunately it has been at the bottom of said bag without a case and now is so scratched that it won't play.
Definitely no so yay.

It's actually scratched to shit... Hmmm I wonder if there is a special cloth that cleans up scratches... I believe there is. Another thing added to the agenda. I will deal with it after my mini vacation to New York. I cannot wait to leave this city and see my bb on the other side. :)

This is definitely needed... For both of us.

Over it.

I wish this never happened to me... I just want things to go back to normal. I'm getting increasingly more paranoid and sensitive to certain things.
I feel like there is still a constant shadow lurking beside me that will not go away. I don't appreciate the constant reminders everyday. It seems that every time you go away something happens that I have to deal with on my own. I'm tired and just want a break from it all. It's getting too much for my already emotional instability to take.

Love (should) conquer all.

As soon as I put myself out there, it all seems to blow up in my face. What is the fucking point if I can never win? I really thought I was happy. But lately I have gone right back to my previous feelings of not being good enough. I feel like everything I have done to make things better came crashing down on me after you lie last week. Why do I even bother?

You're right - its stupid to have irrational dreams.