Lol.
I started reading some of my old (really old and more current) entries about my numerous past relationships that I have publicly written about. I have been shaking my head and laughing at myself for about 20 minutes. I have found a general theme of my entries after a break up, and do not want to continue it. It is actually quite predictable.
How can I put it...
Metaphoric stupidity?
Contemptuous pity?
Lacking love?
Those could all fit quite nicely and are repeatedly seen in the majority of my entries. I first started a blog in 2003 (katrinee.blogspot.com) for the sole purpose of writing down all of the daily happenings of my life, interesting or not. This was grade 11 for goodness sake. Considering it was just after my mom died, I still made ridiculous jokes and made up words on a daily basis. It would take me an hour or two a day to write about my bus ride and how many tests I did not pass in high school. This was around the time that I found out I was moving to Ontario permanently. I enjoy going back to revisit myself as a youngen, but I truly have not changed that much.
I am now just rambling off, but I did have a point of writing this.
I may have not changed very much as a person, definitely still the spoiled and self-centered type, however my writing has changed drastically. This has probably stemmed from the fact that I put so much of my energy into my relationships, that once they fall apart I become more negative and angsty. I have done numerous amazing things over the past few years, yet never took the time to write about them (I do have the memory of a goldfish). However, I have invested much of my time saying rude and hurtful (public) things about people I have dated.
The question is, what is the point?
Has it made me feel better writing these things?
Temporarily.
I do not think I want temporary fixes anymore, well certain ones are okay. :p
I have Victoria, Bahamas and Greece to look forward to.
Let's focus on that.
