The last couple days have been enlightening. I guess that comes with the territory of cutting yourself off from the world and staying in a log cabin in the woods alone. A few people were .. Surprised? I guess that I was doing it. I think they may have been slightly intimidated by my independence or jealous that I take off and do what I want when I want to.
It was a little strange for me, I had never done that before. But it was nice relaxing and writing without the distractions of the city.
I had a rough sleep after a rough conversation. It's refreshing when someone calls me out on my thoughts since they are so jumbled sometimes, however it still makes me uneasy.
I woke up today and needed some fresh air. I made some tea, chatted with a neighbour and sat by the water for a little while. It didn't take long before I started to skip rocks, since they were everywhere. I picked up a perfectly flat rock and did a double take.
I have only found a few heart shaped rocks in my lifetime. I have given two to two people I thought I cared about. But they were imperfect in their shape, which makes sense why the relationships didn't work out and why they were the more unhealthy relationships I've been in.
This time, I have it saved for someone special. The timing is a little ironic, but it's almost perfect. It's funny when the exact thing I need is staring me in the face, and I am running in the opposite direction. By next week I should figure out whether I'm willing to go the distance or to fuck it up because I'm scared or unsure.
All signs point to one thing.
Another sign... Got a speeding ticket on my way home for going 35km/h over the limit. My "lucky" number. Maybe it's a sign to slow down a bit.
This time he let me off easy, dropped it to 15km/h over with no points.
Oops. Didn't care this time. Guess I knew I deserved it.
It's been a great weekend. 😐
