Strange Morning.

I had some weird dreams last night. The first was about masked men hijacking a mall I was in, and I was trying to make sure my cat got out alive, so I shrunk her and put her in my pocket. 

The second one was cool because I was house shopping with my sister. But we were just moving into people's houses that weren't occupied but still living there.

The part that was the most interesting, was the fact that I woke up looking forward to reading the textbook I have for my course. I actually find it fascinating. This is different because I usually disliked reading my textbooks through my undergrad. However, I'm so interested in it that it may act as a substitute for my spare time reading. 

What is happening to me? 

Am I actually focused? 

Did I actually miss being in school? 

Huh.

Epiphany. 

Perfection.

Recently, I wrote about getting caught up in a simplistic moment. A breath of fresh air, so to speak. 

During my vacation, I had another one. One that lasted hours, but only felt like a few minutes. 

It was one of the most romantic nights of my life. Yet, it was so simple. The moon over the water, the sound of the waves and slow music in the background. The way my body moved ever so slowly as we danced, round and round. It started faster, then the rhythm changed, and we began to sway. My hair would fall into my face and you would tuck it behind my ear. I closed my eyes and leaned against you, listening to you sing the songs you wanted me to hear. I was lost in the moment. 

I'm writing about it because I don't want to forget it. On the way home I caught myself smiling about it.

It made me a believer again- in love mostly, but of happiness too. That chivalrous people still exist, and life can be simple if you want it to be. Don't hurt others for the sake of it, give what you receive, and that passion can be multi- faceted.

However, the most valuable lesson I was reminded of was to sit back and enjoy the ride, life is not that bad. 

Hangout Festival.

My weekend: 

Friday-

Ryan Bingham

Passion Pit *

Kings of Leon

Saturday-

Shovels & Ropes *

Bright Light Social Hour

Mowgli's

Gov't Mule

Bassnectar *

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

Sunday-

Moon Taxi

Galactic 

Ellie Goulding *

Imagine Dragons *

Steve Aoki *

Stevie Wonder *

It's been a very busy weekend, with some common themes:

New drinks 

Beer

Beach time 

Seafood

Old music, new music

Full house

Cuddle buddies

Sleeping on the beach on the ocean 

Southern comfort/hospitality

Accents 

Pick up trucks

Fannypacks

Sunglass holders

Animal sabers 

No worries in the south, it's been really nice. 

Holiday.

The most stressful part of a vacation is obviously the preparation. There are so many things that need to be done and I'm very behind. It doesn't help that I cannot find my passport and I'm missing a bathing suit. 

I feel very disorganized and spent an hour trying to pack my suitcase. My difficulty is that I overpack. 

I feel so out of it. My excitement is being overtaken by retrospectively thinking of my behaviour as of late. I feel like I am leaving with things unresolved, but my actions guaranteed that it's the way it's going to be. I have to live with that. An apology is just words. 

I had a dream last night.

The final goodbye. The perfect goodbye.

I asked whether it was a dream or not. You said it was. It was time to let it all go. With a final perfect kiss, the dream fades and you're gone. 

It felt like an out of body experience where I couldn't tell if it was real. There have only been a few instances where this has happened to me. 

Is it weird that a dream gives you more closure than the realistic situation? Or is it just because it was the ideal outcome?

That's it.

You're only as sick as your secrets.

That's all I have to say anymore.

My vacation is coming at the perfect time.

Not a favourite.

I wonder if ill ever stop being asked about Mother's Day. 

No I'm not doing anything special - ill be sleeping in and just trying to get through the day. 

This moment.

Do you ever get caught up in a moment?

I mean, truly lose yourself in the world for maybe a second, minute or longer?

This may happen alone or with someone else. Your issues, life and people just fade away?

For me, it doesn't happen very often but I love the feeling it gives me. It feels like time has frozen, just for me, in that moment. I am unaware of time and responsibilities. It's a moment of true peace.

It's my day off today but I still have commitments and places to be at specific times. But in the midst of it, I got caught up in absolutely nothing.
I was lying on my balcony with the sun of my face, eyes closed. I hear the world continuing around me but don't notice. I smell the fresh cut grass.
It may have only lasted a moment or a few minutes, I can't be sure. Time was at a standstill. Unfortunately something brought me back, and with an element of alarm I was already wondering what time it was- did I miss my appointment?
I breathe a sigh of relief that I didn't miss my appointment, but with this sigh comes a feeling of regret that the moment is gone. I ruined it, time, life... Ruined it.

On days I work, I am more aware of time and its importance. But on my days off I do not wear a watch or check my phone as regularly. I try to avoid time because its inevitable, so why get consumed in its importance?

Highlight of my day.

At work.

Colleague from work: hey, I have a question for you.
Me: okay
Colleague from work: do you have a boyfriend?
Me: ... No... ( worried he was hitting on me)
Colleague from work: I'm just wondering because my friend was in here the other day, and you dropped off some food. He thinks you are one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen.
Me: -scoff- oh, that's interesting. Are you sure it was me?
Colleague from work: why, don't you think you're pretty?
Me: -silence- -modesty-
Colleague from work: -laugh- -walk away-

Flattering compliment.
No idea who this person is, but intrigued.

I mean, yes I'm confident. But one of the most beautiful girls ever? Maybe not that confident. However this isn't the first time someone has told me this out of the blue. So who knows.



Definitely still hung over from last night. You know it's a good evening when you don't remember saying goodbye to friends at the bar, taking the subway or the drive home, and falling asleep. Only to wake up in the morning and have others fill you in on the nights events.
This has only happened a couple times in my life. I guess drinking for 10 hours catches up to you without you even noticing.

Thursdays.

I figured I could only be on a high for so long before something happened. It wasn't just a bump, I was crying pretty hard because of it.
I'm reading a book that tell you to be consumed with the emotion so that you can identify it and deal with it instead of dwelling. So I just let it all out today, and I wouldn't say I feel better, but I definitely don't want to cry about it anymore. I was definitely upset and hurt <- emotions identified.

Growing up, I remember this well, I dreaded Thursdays. No matter what, I always had a bad day. This was probably because I expected bad things to happen so they did. But nonetheless, I hated all Thursdays.
Today is of course Thursday. And I get brought back to my childish thinking that Thursdays are the worst day of the week. I realized that I also found out I didn't get into school on a Thursday. I also think I was recently dumped on a Thursday.

Yeah... Thursdays are awful.

I'm going to crawl into a ball for the remainder of the night, wake up and be determined to make tomorrow an epic Friday. Just because I want to.

Take that Thursday, you're so yesterday.

Summer lovin'.

Some people wreck it for everyone, or they try. Once they see you're happy, they try to poop on your party.
But on a wonderful day like today, nothing can bother me. Life is too good right now to be down. I think it's shaping up to be a pretty fucking awesome summer.

No complaints, no regrets.

I hope this is my slogan throughout the summer.
Do I feel like dancing, um yup. Like a giddy little girl on her birthday.

How do you celebrate?!

I celebrate by spending more money.
2 weeks until my holiday!!
25 degree weather, beach, friends and of course 3 days of awesome music.

Oh and of course, with a hearty breakfast. I'm thinking smoothie.

Celebrate!!

Car loan - gone !!!

Last OSAP payment - done!!!

May 01 means I have more money for the things I want in my life!!
It's a good day!