A couple days ago, I found out something that I thought may destroy my belief in love. It did, for one day. I almost got looped into the fact I may never let it go. However, by yesterday my upset turned to anger. I had planned something that would really hurt someone. But seeing that I don't want to do things that purposely hurt someone, I have decided that I'm not going to act on it.
So last night I had a great sleep. My anger has now turned to acceptance that I'm not going to waste another day of my life dwelling on something that was doomed from the start. I think I had good intentions and I was taken advantage of for a very long time.
I'm not going to let it keep me negative and hurt. I'm wiping my hands clean that I've done everything I could, and walk away.
I'm going to enjoy the single life, and just go back to where I was before this whole ordeal happened. I'm not going to say I regret wasting my time, but would I do it completely differently? Abso (fucking) lutely.
Finally having the realization that I was retarded for so long, doesn't make me want to jump into anything for a long time. I'm not going to make the same mistakes again. Maybe if something "falls into my lap" (figuratively not literally,of course), I will probably run in the opposite direction.
So I have a lot of driving ahead of me over the next couple days. It's going to be nice to know that you are not my problem anymore.
It's funny how "love" can give you a sense of security, when in reality it has changed my perspective about what I want. I may have made some mistakes, but I finally see that I was not the selfish one for a long time.
It's been a breath of fresh air. I'm very glad that this happened, even though it was found out the wrong way. I genuinely hope things work out for you. It doesn't make sense to be unhappy that you're happy.
Going to be an interesting weekend. Have no idea what to expect and I'm okay with that. Sounds more like the way I used to be, and the way I want to be.
Lets go.
