Truth.

Her mistake had been to put her life on hold while waiting for a man. That's what she had to change. She would learn to be happy on her own. She was smart, and wasn't afraid to work hard. This was the only life she had, and she'd better make the best of it. 

Truth.

Her own loneliness and emotional hunger had allowed her to believe that a handsome , very selfish man was really a charming gentleman in disguise. 

Equilibrium.

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly life goes back to normal, equilibrium. Especially after an event i thought would devastate me for a long time. Sometimes it feels so normal, so fast, that I second guess that the event ever happened. Is that weird? Or do I continue to live in some fantasy world? I can't decide if that is a naive ideal or a mature one. Very conflicting. 

Maybe my heart is finally realizing what my head had aware of for a while. My heart just didn't want to listen. 

Everything happens for a reason, and I feel more content with my life now than I have been in a long time.

I wouldn't have guessed it.

Why does there always have to be one piece missing? Is there ever a time when someone truly has every piece of their life puzzle? 

Deal.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to be more active.

I'm writing this because I want to legitimize my interest to the world.

I'm going to start P90X tomorrow afternoon and follow the regime for the next few weeks. With a new job comes more opportunity for growth, in and out of the workplace . 

I want to be the best I can be. 

I feel the changes approaching and it's really exciting. 

No more.

There have been many times in my life when I've felt that I'm not made for serious relationships . 

There's always that moment. That point. 

It's undeniable and I can't take it back. 

When things are wonderful, and in that moment, that point, the relationship changes forever. It goes downhill. Slowly. Until the toxicity is so unbearable that the relationship has no way to build back up again. Even when I believe it could be "the" relationship, the "last" relationship, the "one" relationship, I screw it up. I push you away, so far, there's no going back. I feel like I really screwed this one up, and I know, in my heart, that there is nothing I can do to fix it.

It's completely broken. 

It makes me uneasy when I think about my future. I really thought he would be my knight in shining armour. The one that I wrote a novel about, so I would never forget our fairy tale.

Now, I can't look at anything without the reminder that life can change in a New York minute, and I'm all alone. 

And lastly reminded that fairy tales do not come true. 

All over now

Summer .

I've finally gotten used to being in a town of 760, in the middle of the green mountains. So has Madi. 

Time has started to go faster, and I've been able to relax. I've lost the resentment and actually like the quiet. 

Unfortunately, I sprained my wrist waterskiing so I haven't been able to do that for the past couple days. It's finally starting to feel better. I've only been waterskiing 4 times, fell only once, got up every single time, and am going to try one ski this week.#natural

Mason has finally been approved to take the long weekend off, so we are officially able to go back to Osheaga this year! Months and months ago, we were given the opportunity to sell our story to the press, but we decided that our story is for us, and not for the world to know. So because of this, we still had to buy our tickets this year. But we are getting ready to go all out. 

I miss my apartment, but other than that, it's going to be hard returning to toronto. I got some time still, but it's going to go so fast... Then back to long distance.

Focusing on the positives : life is great, Madi is a happy kitty, I get to sleep in everyday, I'm tan, and I'm getting in much better shape. 

Can't complain . 

27.

My day yesterday may have started with me in tears, but slowly turned into a fun and happy day spent with someone who loves me. 

Madi decided to go on a little "kitty vacation", as Mason liked to call it, by jumping out of our second storey bathroom window. I was absolutely amazed that she was able to do that, and chose to do that considering her timid nature. She may have fell out, who knows. 

We spent the first few hours of the morning looking for her through the woods, since we are completely surrounded by the outdoors. His dad came over to help, and then his mom. Coming from a family who has five (!!) animals, they were very concerned. 

I was quite upset, so Mason gave me (another) birthday present (very spoiled this year) and made me pancakes. His mom came over all flustered and excited saying that "I think I saw her in the trees!! Come quick come quick!!". Forgetting to shut off the oven, we both ran out in search only to find that it was another grey cat. False alarm. 

Went back to the house and the bacon was completely burnt. Oops. 

During breakfast, we received a call that his parents set up a couples spa day for us, partially for my birthday, partially because they felt bad about my kitty missing. It included full use of the spa, lunch, drinks, 65 minute massages, and champagne. We ended up staying in our robes just hanging out for 5 hours. 

At the end of our massages, I got a message from the receptionist that Masons mom had found Madi! We had left the doors open, just in case, and when his mom came to check up, she was found huddled under our bed. In one piece, safe and sound. 

We were both so relieved. 

After that, we were able to relax. I got all dressed up for dinner and we went out. To a couple bars first and then for dinner. It was supposed to be a terribly rainy day (like it is right now), but by the time we left the spa, it was beautiful. We ate dinner on a little patio with jazz over the radio and elephants on our wine bottle. And of course, chocolate for dessert. 

All in all, it was a beautiful day. I may be getting older, but it was the perfect way to make me forget. 

Lastly: most exciting part was coming home to find kitty waiting for us, and smothering her with love. 

The Beginning.

They went for a stroll down Church street, drinking strawberry lemonades and holding hands. The small shops and cafés were bustling with customers on their lunch breaks. Laughter breaking out all around. It was supposed to be a rainy, dreary day, but the sky had opened up and sun shined brightly, illuminating the cobble stone walkways. There was a three piece band on one corner, and a young violinist on another. People were standing and listening intently to the beautiful music, filling their ears with classical tunes. 

Together they picked out new outfits for their evening out. Hers consisted of a short floral dress that flowed softly around my knees, his was new khaki shorts and a freshly pressed white collared shirt. They complimented each other so well. 

They weren't sure where to set up shop for dinner, but she wanted to sit on a patio and drink wine. Leurig's Bistro was one of the best places in town for food and wine selection, and they got one of the last tables on their patio that extended into the square. The wait staff wore bow ties and vests, giving their ambiance a classy but comfortable feel.  It reminded her a lot of Montreal or any European city. 

They sat and drank wine, listening to the violinist that was playing next to them, thinking that he was playing specifically for them. The evening was perfect. 

Meals were packed up, and they raced back to the car in hopes of catching one of her favourite bands play at a local venue. Once they parked, she wanted to go ahead and get tickets, but he was taking his time, texting on his phone. He said he forgot his wallet in the car, and instead of waiting for him, she ran up to the box office in hopes for tickets to the sold out show of Fitz and the Tantrums. The woman behind the glass shook her head and explained that she was the luckiest girl because they just opened up the last two tickets to the show. Without hesitation, she buys the tickets brimming with excitement. She darted out quickly to find him, desperate to share the good news. "I got tickets!" She said running up to him and kissing his face. He pulled away and seemed slightly aggravated. 

He had gotten her tickets for her birthday. Turned out that it was all set up days before, his family playing along. 

Great surprise. Great day.

Great boyfriend. "I want to give you everything that you could ever want"

Latching on.

People say that fairy tales don't exist, and neither do coincidences.

However.

Last night at Skrillex dub step concert, I turned around to tell my boyfriend that I loved him, and when I did, Skrillex started playing our song Latch by Disclosure (remix obvi) and our hearts melted and we started singing along. 

What a moment.

What a day!! Dropping $400 in a day on activities and fun ? No big deal. 

Some things are worth giving up everything for. 

8 days and I will no longer be in Canada. 

Potentially

Life 

Altering 

Decisions

Ahead 

*stressed*

Boom.

Life comes at you fast . 

My future has just become very unclear. I hope this doesn't cost me someone that I care about. I'm feeling a little pessimistic. 

Just need to let it perk, I've been told.

Let it perk...

I heart Kitty!

So glad my kitty is home! AND that I'm home.
Had the best sleep last night after my flight and my weekend in Calgary.

Last year I had an obsession with Imagine Dragons.
So far this summer, I am most obsessed with Fitz and the Tantrums. They are super fun and perfect driving music. I can't wait to see them this summer.

Guess I should get back to work so I can pay for my fun adventures this summer...

Calgary.

Two days is good for me.

Ready to go home to my lovely loft and fluffy kitty. 

Chicago.

Is.

Awesome.

That is all.

Bedtime. 

Wahoo!

It is always such a nice feeling when you waltz out of work knowing that you don't have to be there for a while. 

Today I almost wanted to skip. 

Leaving on a plane tomorrow for a short vacay. Ready to leave my awesome loft and kitty and relax somewhere different. 

 

Only 2 weeks until my double vacay, and I'll be out of here for 2 weeks. Big tings happening! Tings are changing in ways, but also some tings are back to normal. 

Hoping to sleep. Early start tomorrow. 

I wonder if it's strange that I talk to my bfs parents more than my entire family put together. Home is where the heart is. 

Huh...

Then... Today happened. 

A little "wtf" is going on right now. Not sure how I feel about what just happened. Not sure if I can work around it or not. Definitely a little confused, hurt and betrayed. 

Power through. Maybe not the happy ending I thought. 

On a Whim.

I've been sick for the last few days, which really put a damper on my jogging schedule. However, I float along on a cloud anyways so it doesn't really matter. 

People have told me that things always just work out for me, mostly because I don't take no for an answer. But to validate my point I'll use the example of my phone. I dropped it in the toilet last week, thinking that it was toast. Buttons weren't working and couldn't make any calls. However, after a few days of just being "whatever" about it, my phone magically started working properly, and maybe even more efficiently than before the toilet incident. I'm content with that. 

On a whim, I decided to go on a holiday. I don't have a ton of money, but hey, I'm a believer in spending the money you make on things you love. My life is going to become more complete in 3 weeks, which isn't a very long time at all. But for someone with no patience and someone that has been waiting for months and months for this moment, it feels like an eternity. The answer to this? A holiday smack dab in the middle! So excited.

I may be broke, but at least I'm happy. 

Spontaneity is one of the only ways to live life to its fullest. 

Bliss.

I've been looking at the screen for a while, with so many things to say but not sure where to start. 

I feel like I'm floating on a cloud sometimes, skipping down the street and singing "la la la" in my head. Life is too perfect to put into words. I may not have much money in the bank, but the fact that I've taken off more vacation just in 2014 than most people in 3 years, I can't really be upset. I truly have been working to live my life fully, and working less hours than anyone I know. Some may think I don't take my life seriously, but in reality, I take my life more seriously than most because I live. I have my stressful days, once in a while, but generally I float along in my little world finding it hard to relate to people because I'm happier than them. 

I have my perfect loft, my kitty for company, a job I don't hate, and the ability to vacation all the time. To top it off, I have the blessing of loving someone unconditionally and having that love returned, plus more.

This probably comes off as conceded, but I don't think there is anything wrong with admitting happiness. Bliss. People take it the wrong way because they are envious and not sure how to get to this level. 

I realize that this type of happiness doesn't always last, so I'm making note of it. Maybe to reflect and motivate me later. However, it's spring and soon will be summer. Last year was one for the record books, and I have hopes that this year will be, at least, on par. 

Less than five weeks and I'll have another two weeks of vacation. Then after that, every weekend will be an adventure. 

Who knows what will happen over the next six months, but I am ready for all the shenanigans that will entail.  

Back to the Grind.

Got home last night to my life seemingly falling apart. Guess that's what happens when you ditch your life for 3 weeks. However, everything is working itself out again. 

Moving must be one of the most intense stresses in ones life. It's so draining. There is a constant to-do list : days leading up to, including day of, and days after the move in. What a pain. Luckily I am downsizing so I'm able to get rid of most stuff rather than moving it. 

I'm purging most of my belongings that I've been holding onto for .. Whatever that reason. 

Today is living room, dining room, second bedroom and bathroom day

Tomorrow will be conquering my room

Thursday will be kitchen 

Friday I move!! 

All progress is good progress. 

10 days until my love comes to visit! 

Just need to stay positive. Moving in a new and different direction. Almost spring time. Life can't be all bad. 

Get my kitty back tonight!!! Ahhh can wait to smush her perfect little face. Today is her 5th birthday. It all works out :)