Saturday, January 10, 2015

No more.

There have been many times in my life when I've felt that I'm not made for serious relationships . 
There's always that moment. That point. 
It's undeniable and I can't take it back. 
When things are wonderful, and in that moment, that point, the relationship changes forever. It goes downhill. Slowly. Until the toxicity is so unbearable that the relationship has no way to build back up again. Even when I believe it could be "the" relationship, the "last" relationship, the "one" relationship, I screw it up. I push you away, so far, there's no going back. I feel like I really screwed this one up, and I know, in my heart, that there is nothing I can do to fix it.
It's completely broken. 
It makes me uneasy when I think about my future. I really thought he would be my knight in shining armour. The one that I wrote a novel about, so I would never forget our fairy tale.
Now, I can't look at anything without the reminder that life can change in a New York minute, and I'm all alone. 
And lastly reminded that fairy tales do not come true.