Phases.

I have an issue with attention. I seem to lose interest in people, places and things on the regular. I may be infatuated with an idea and pour my heart and soul into it, only to lose interest the next day. 

I realize that many people my age have this issue- we are all just floundering about. 

This is a paradox. The things I want to be interested in, I am not. And the things I want desperately not to be interested in, I am drawn to. However, once I get looped in, the novelty loses its value very soon after. 

I think this idea goes further than "wanting what you can't have". It applies to every situation. My attention span is just low for everything. Or maybe I am interested in the excitement, and once I see that it's gone, I'm gone. The new and exciting wears off faster than it should, and I'm ready for the next person, place or thing. 

I guess that's why love is such a confusing complex. How can someone that is so inconsistent about every decision, be so delusional that they are determined to make a relationship work? It just doesn't make sense! 

I guess it takes a special person, place for thing to stick. Such as certain people that are consistent and can talk to everyday or my cat, my apartment and my car. 

This was just a blob of random thought that has been perplexing me on my day off. I guess I just go through phases... Or maybe I'm so lost because love was the only thing that keep me from spinning out of control. Now that its gone,I just don't know what to do with myself. 

I need some consistency. I'm too indecisive to be on my own. 

I hate this about myself. 

Even this post is inconsistent and jumps all over the place... And it's about inconsistency. Ugh.