Lover.

There are some days that I don't have any idea what I'm doing.  Today is one of them. I'm looking back on today's events and I'm not sure what came over me. I'm battling with how I want to act around people and what I am ready for. It is a constant game of ping pong in my head. 

Sometimes I come off as forward, and I reflect later and think what the hell was I doing and maybe it was disappointing. Then there are other times when I stand behind the line of comfort and then reflect later whether I missed an opportunity. Either way it's hard to compare.

Everything keeps leading me back to being a hermit and away from anything that makes me battle invertly, and to get my shit together first. 

Alas, I am a lover, not a fighter, and a good (horny) one at that. 

Finally, a day off. 

Count is up at 6, eek. I look forward to the day I lose track.